Pure Life Alliance

Sexual Addiction is one of the most frequently misunderstood terms in behavioral health. Since it can be confusing, it is sometimes easier to first examine what it is not.

Sex Addiction is not:

A disease, as defined by AMA standards

An excuse for having marital affairs

A defense for criminal proceedings involving sexual behavior

Something only a few people suffer from

Incurable

So then, what is sexual addiction? Sexual addiction is nothing more than a continuing pattern of unwanted compulsive sexual behavior that has had a negative impact on an individual’s personal, social, and/or economic standing.

Let’s break that down:

Continuing Pattern

An occasional session of masturbation, a single affair, even a past series of date rapes do not constitute a continuing pattern. Sexual addiction is defined by an ongoing series of sexual behaviors, including the preoccupation with and the planning of those behaviors. Usually, these patterns become more and more ritualized over time.

Unwanted

If someone is engaged in sexual behavior of their choosing, even when this behavior brings on significant negative consequences, this does not, in and of itself, warrant a definition of addiction. To be addicted, the person in question must have, at some point, felt the desire to stop (even if that desire no longer exists at the present).

Compulsive Sexual Behavior

Sexual behavior involves ANY type of sexual behavior – including sexual preoccupation and fantasy. Someone who can’t stop thinking about sex can incur consequences that are just as significant as someone actually engaging in the behaviors themselves. The overwhelming majority of compulsive sexual behavior comes from "victimless" behavior – masturbation, prostitution, pornography, promiscuity. This, however, should never be misconstrued to think that the addiction isn’t as severe, or as potentially devastating, as those involving the more rare behaviors such as rape, stalking and molestation.

Negative Impact

Add to this self-explanatory phrase, "or the potential for a negative impact – should the behavior(s) be discovered".

Personal, Social or Economic Standing

What constitutes "negative impact"? Just about anything that can have a negative impact on a person’s life:

Personal - Negative feelings exhibited through guilt and shame, low self-esteem, depression, thoughts of suicide and/or self-mutilation. One’s self-identity becomes distorted, either through delusions of sexual grandeur or through self-loathing.

Social - Existing interpersonal relationships become strained or destroyed. The need for secrecy inhibits the development of intimacy, especially with long-term romantic partners, friends and family. Over time, few new long-term relationships are built and the longer the addiction progresses, the more social interactions become either part of the addiction, or a means of distraction.

Economic - Often, the discovery of one’s involvement in socially deviant or, in the rare case, criminal behavior can have a devastating effect on one’s career. Overtly, behavior’s such as viewing online pornography at work can lead to loss of employment and difficulty finding future employment. Subtly, even constant fantasies can keep people from reaching their full professional potential as they are too preoccupied to focus on work.

What if You Don't Know?

How do you know if someone is a sexual addict? What does is mean to be a sexual addict? When trying to define whether or not someone is a sexual addict, keep this in mind; id doesn’t matter. If someone is displaying sexual behavior that is for some reason or another having a negative impact on your life (or theirs) then something needs to be done.